LaShana Tova

LaShana Tova - a happy new year. Last night at sundown marked the beginning of Rosh Hashanah - the Jewish New Year. It's the perfect time for reflection. Reflection on the past year, but also looking forward to a happy, healthy, and rewarding new year.

This time last year, I wasn't partaking in Rosh Hashanah celebrations. Instead I was in the midst of my first hospital stay, and the start of a long, eventful, daunting year. But just like the calendar comes full circle and starts again, I kind of have also.

This year, I am celebrating the joys of this past year, trying to learn from the mistakes, and looking forward to the new opportunities and possibilities that come with a new year. I don't mean to sound to cliche, and I realize that it is truly just another day, but I like to think that with a new year also comes the chance to do better, be stronger, and find success.

This year I am grateful for my family and friends, whose unending support has seen me through a tough year. And I recognize the fact that as difficult as it may have been for me, there are so many people who have it so much worse.

This year, I hope to find more patience and kindness. I hope to be a better wife, daughter, sister, friend. I hope to make the time to be more around for my niece - who is growing by leaps and bounds every day. I hope to make more opportunity to be involved - at temple, with my friends and their lives, with my cousins and their very busy lives and activities. This year I hope to continue my journey for health - not Lupus health (though that would be nice to), but the health that I can affect - my personal health goals of weight loss and fitness. This year, I hope to find compassion and sensitivity to those around me, and make sure that those who matter most know how much I love them.

So LaShana Tova to all - a sweet new year!

HEALTH

I’ve really loved maintaining my blog, and I love hearing from people that they are reading it and keeping up with me through it. But I’ve also felt at times that I just don’t have anything new to talk about and sometimes even when I come up with something, it’s not so interesting. So in an effort to try to maintain some newness for all of you (and since you know I am so shy about sharing my opinion or thoughts), I’ve decided to try something a little different. I made a list of words – all different kinds and connotations – and when I’m struggling for something new to post about, I’ll just post some thoughts about each word. Ok, so it may be a little cheesy. But it could be kind of interesting, and well, if you don’t like it then don’t read it! But you know you will…

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Health
Health can mean so many different things to different people. To some it is a matter of CHOOSING health. Like eating well and exercising (some of my latest and newest focuses). Maybe health isn’t even given much thought to these people – it’s just a way of their life. Or maybe they have struggled in the past, and they’ve given a great deal of thought – making the choice to be healthy all that more significant. For so long, I was NOT one of these people. I was always a petite person, active without being involved in any particular sports or activities and healthy without having to try. I did things like swimming, bike riding, playing outside – not because I was “being healthy”, but because that was how we had fun. But of course, as I’ve gotten older that balance shifted and I’ve had to learn how to make myself be active through exercise, and develop healthier eating habits. It hasn’t been easy, but very rewarding.

To others, health is not at all a choice – it is decided for you. Some people take it for granted. I WAS one of these people. Until this past year, of course. Being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease has been a very interesting experience for me, for so many reasons. First of all, it reminded me, (I say remind, because it didn’t teach – I already knew), what it means to have support. It’s one thing to know that your family will always be there for you, it’s another thing to feel and live it. When they run, and drive, and fly as quickly as they can to be by your side. When they won’t leave your side (even in you want them to). When they can sense and know that something is wrong, and won’t take no for an answer when you try to kindly refuse help. When they stop their worlds to be all about you and what you need. It’s one thing to think that you have loyal friends, it another thing to have them drop everything to bring you dinner, or check on you, or be so understanding when you’ve been out of touch. It’s one thing to think that you work with nice people, and another to have them cry at your aches and pains, pick up your slack all the while having only concern for you and not the extra hours or workload you created for them, ask you a gazillion questions to be sure you are really feeling fine and not just saying it.

Being sick, for me, has been somewhat of a blessing. That’s not to say I don’t wish I was completely healthy, feeling 100% better, and not worrying that I’ll always have to deal with this. I may always have to deal with this. I may never be able to take my family on a beach vacation because I can’t be in the sun without having a flare up. I may never be able to have a fun filled, energy draining weekend without worrying that I’m overdoing it. I may never be able to go to lunch without having to pull out my pill dispenser. I may never have a slight feeling in my chest without wondering if I’ll have to go back up on the meds, or if fluid has built back up. But I remind myself that I can go on vacations with my family, and so many people can’t. And I can have a fun filled weekend and go places and do things I want, and many people can’t. I can go to lunch with friends, and who cares that I have to be sure to take a couple of pills when I’m done eating. And if I do get a pain in my chest, well then at least I know how to respond and I have a great repertoire of doctors to consult with and to take care of me.

Being sick has been a blessing, because I still get to live, and be relatively normal, and basically do what I want to do. And yet I do know the feeling of wondering “what if”. It makes me so much more appreciative of the life I have. It makes me feel grateful – for family and friends. It makes me feel like I’ve experienced something that makes me stronger. And it’s not like I’ve beat cancer, or cheated death. I’ve not had to experience anything as awful and scary as that. But I do know uncertainty, and what it’s like to be scared, and completely out of control, and then relieved, and basically healthy.

Have you ever heard...

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.

In my life, I have been so fortunate to have experienced both. I realize that might sound a little odd - considering myself fortunate to have had people who quickly go. But I do believe that is the good and the bad experiences that make us who we are. And because of those people who have not stayed in my life, I am stronger, I am more mature, and I am a better person.

But that is actually getting off track from my original purpose in thinking of this quote. This weekend, I got a call from one my dearest friends. Although I have not known this person for an extremely long time (though sometimes it does feel like forever), there is something about HIM that can bring a smile to my face. Regardless of whatever I am feeling or have going on at that time, his voice makes me smile, and his laugh is contagious. I know if I ever need him he will be there. He is probably the only man that I could have this sort of friendship with without my husband being jealous. Trey just gets it, because Trey knows and adores him too.

And when he recently moved far away, I was really bummed. But somehow I also knew that though distance will make any relationship more challenging, we'd still manage to be friends for the long haul.

So, Mark... I miss you, and I love you! Thanks for leaving a footprint.

The Things a 7 Year Old Can Do...

Today, Madelyn turned 7 years old. Wow. 7 years old. I can hardly believe it. It makes me thing back on so much that has changed over the years. The things that she couldn't do before and now can do. The so many ways she has grown, and learned so much, and how her personality has continued to form. So, in honor of Princess Madelyn turning 7 years old, I thought was a great time to reflect on the things a 7 year old can do...

A 7 year old can write her own name... beautifully. With scrolly decor, and clean perfectly crafted letters.

A 7 year old can read so many words, and put them together into short sentences.

A 7 year old can spell. She can sound out words. Easy words like walk, cat, car, how, love. Hard words like glass, wonderful, birthday, shelf, letters, catch, when, who, what.

A 7 year old can give herself a shower, being sure to shampoo and conditioner her hair, wash her entire body - head to toe, and still make a little time to play.

A 7 year old can teach me how to play the Wii, can remind me the fun of doing a puzzle, or playing a good old fashion game of Twister, or Monopoly, or Trouble.

And a 7 year old can remind me that it's okay to lose at a game, and it's okay to be happy when you win.

A 7 year old can brush her own teeth for 2 minutes... yet still spend 1 minute and 30 seconds spitting rather than brushing!

A 7 year old can remind me what it was like to play with Barbies and Dolls and use your imagination to make it fill hours of fun. And yet, still manage to be "bored" with a plethora of games and options before her.

And speaking of imagination... A 7 year old can be so smart and inquisitive, and yet be okay with knowing nothing at all sometimes.

A 7 year old can be so excited about what we'd consider the little things... spending the afternoon at the park, getting a goodie from the impulsive checkout section of the grocery store, getting an ice cream on a hot afternoon, getting to go play with her friends, or cousins (human and animal).

A 7 year old can make my day start with a huge smile when she calls to say have a good day at work, and make it end with the same smile when she tells me how was her day at school.

A 7 year old can make my heart hurt when she's not feeling well, or says that she misses me.

A 7 year old can drive me crazy when she asks something for the 5th time in the span of an hour.

A 7 year old can be wise enough to not talk to strangers, and still innocent enough to want to help a person who seems to be in need.

A 7 year old can be glued to the TV, while asking "what are we going to do today?".

A 7 year old is willing to try new things - food, places, people, and yet still say she doesn't like something without ever making an effort.

A 7 year old can be almost as tall as me, and almost wearing the same size shoe, and all too eager to point this out at every opportunity.

A 7 year old can already be finding some of my bad habits... like shopping, and jewelry, and wanting new things.

A 7 year old can be old enough to have a "boyfriend", and young enough to think he has cooties.

A 7 year old can be mature enough to understand that people are less fortunate than we, and still be naive to the advantages we have in this world.

A 7 year old can be content with her friends, and still be courageous enough to make new ones.

But most importantly, a 7 year old can feel joy about the great memories she's had in all her 7 years - filled with fun and excitement, surrounded by family and friends who love her. And still, be filled with enthusiasm and anticipation for the future, and the possibilities that are endless for her - an intelligent, beautiful, sharp, compassionate, amazing big girl!

all good things must come to an end

With the end of a fun weekend, also came the end to my streak of good luck and polished health. Saturday night, the chest pains started... again. I really thought maybe I pulled a muscle or something, because it felt a little different than in the past. Well, maybe I was just trying to convince myself. So Sunday morning came and I skipped my usual step class (I so hated that!!) I mostly took it easy Sunday - ran a few small errands, but stayed pretty low key. Tina and Madelyn headed out after lunch and I had some work to do (since I skipped out early Friday). April studied and I worked, and the day just flew by. I was feeling a little better and was very optimistic that the pains would go away.

But then Sunday night rolled around and I didn't sleep well at all. I was up, tossing and turning from the pain about every hour. By the time I got up Monday morning, I knew I'd have to call the doctor. And so I did, and as usual, they were amazing at squeezing me in. I went around lunch time.

So the bad news... I have to go back up on the Prednisone dose, and may be on the steroids for a long while.

But the good news... We're going to try going to moderate increased dose, and for only 5 days, then back down to just above where I've been most recently.

And more good news... I looked forward to going in to the doc because (now don't laugh at me), I wanted to weigh in! And although their scale has always been a little higher than mine (on my high weight, and current), it did confirm what I've been tracking... to date, since the start of me doing weight watchers, I've lost about 14 lbs!

So that's that for now... I'll keep you all updated.

The start of a fun weekend...

Mom, Allan, Megan, and Mia all came in late Thursday night. On Friday, they went to Jackie's pep rally in the morning, and then had plans to do some running around. Shopping for Madelyn's birthday present(s) was first priority. I went into work in the morning, but was having a very hard time focusing knowing that my gang was here. I really wanted to hang with them, so I decided to take the afternoon off and bring work home with me for Sunday when everyone left. April was so kind to come pick me up (again, I ask... what in the world would I ever do without her!) She brought me home, we ate a quick lunch, I changed clothes, and she took me over to Lene's and all of my junk over to Lene's. Mom, Megan, Allan, Mia and I went to Khol's to find some work slacks for mom for the Fall, and of course, I found a few things too (never fails!)

Meanwhile, Tina and Madelyn were on their way in. They made it Dallas before peak traffic time (YEAH!) so they came to the Glazer household to meet us, and from there, we all went to the high school to see Jackie and Dani's volleyball game. April and I had bought tons of stuff for dinner Friday night for everyone. I made salsa chicken in the crockpot and we had tacos with all of the trimmings. And for desert - birthday cake for Trey and Allan (and it was sooo yummy!)

We didn't last too long Friday night because we had to get home and get things ready for Madelyn's birthday party. So we stayed up until midnight making stuffed jalapenos and hamburger patties. By then, we were so tired that I crashed before I could even turn the light off in the bedroom!

Madelyn's Turning 7!!

Saturday came all too quickly, and we got up early to go to a step class at the club in Frisco. It was the first time we went to this particular class, and we really liked it. Tina kept up great and April and I fell into step pretty easily. We hurried home to shower and get ready to head to the Glazer's to get ready for Madelyn's birthday party. She was so excited about her swimming party, I don't think she could stand it! We took the first set of supplies, food, etc. by the house and headed to Sams to get the cupcakes, hamburger buns, fresh veggies and other misc. things that hadn't been gotten yet. Although April and I (mostly April) had been in and out of grocery stores about 10 times in the last week (no exaggeration), there were still a few things that we needed. Jackie, Dani, and Gina helped hang streamers; Trey and Allan went and had the Scooby Doo balloons filled with helium, April, Mom, Tina, and I got all of the food ready, and then it was time to party!



The kids swam, Trey grilled stuffed jalapenos (so good) and hamburgers (delicious), and we all hung out visiting and celebrating what a big girl Madelyn has become! The kids were so excited about the pinata. And speaking of the pinata, here is a funny story... the pinata was not a "beat with a bat" kind, but had a bunch of strings hanging below. Only one opened the trap door. Each kid is supposed to pull a string until the one to open the door is randomly selected. I found which one was THE one and tied it up to be sure that every kid got a chance before the door was opened. Well, Madelyn was so excited that she came up the pinata as we were getting ready, grabbed ahold of the entire bunch of strings and pulled the entire bunch off!!! BUT, since I had tied up the magical one, it was the only one still attached. So we had to resort instead to the traditional beat the pinata until it bursts!



Next came time for cupcakes and Mindy's famous chocolate mousse. Madelyn was surprised and thrilled that Mindy made mousse just for her birthday. It was a big hit, and there were Scooby Doo cupcakes galore to make it a party filled with Madelyn's favorite thing - dessert!



All that was left was presents - and there were plenty to go around! Madelyn got a Barbie real working laptop with games and challenges, an awesome colorful dress with matching BLING necklace, a potholder kit (that I was looking at and want to do myself!), Hannah Montana PJs and dolls, clothes, clothes, and more clothes, Barbie accessories, Doll accessories, Cabbage Patch Kids stuff, DVDs, Webkins, Easy Bake Oven, and the list goes on and on! She was one happy camper and couldn't wait (and didn't wait) to start tearing open all her new goodies.



We're so lucky to have such wonderful family and friends that made her 7th birthday so much fun!