My mom ROCKS.  She is the most patient, determined, amazing woman I know.  She manages to find grace and strength in even the most trying of situations.  I have the utmost respect for her - as a mother, and as a person.  She finds energy and ambition when I don't think I could.  I so admire her courage.  She is a constant reminder  to me that nothing is impossible, and to never settle for less than all that you deserve.

And right now, she is feeling frustrated and overwhelmed with obstacles to trying to feel better and being healthy.  But I know she can do it - whatever "it" may be.  Because I know she has more strength and resolve than she is giving herself credit for, and I know this too shall pass.  And in the meantime, ILYMTYLMxI.

Disappointed

Finally, April and I watched Twilight.  What a disappointment.  I don't think the movie at all lived up to the book.  What a bummer.

It was a crazy weekend...

Wow - where does the time go. I thought I'd just gotten all caught up on my blogging (well - sort of the Cliff's Notes version of caught up), and then I look and it's been a week since I posted. I just can't keep up.

This past weekend Trey and I went to Houston for a visit. We got to see Allan and Megan's new house - it is really beautiful. I'm so excited for them. Trey spent all day Saturday (and I do mean ALL day) building a pump house for them, and hanging with Allan. You can look at mom's blog for pics - I don't have them. But it's really cool. It's huge - there is enough room for Mia to have a playhouse if they could block off the pump. Or, as everyone also pointed out - it's a great space for Allan when he misbehaves. There is enough room to put an cot or airmattress for it to be his "doghouse". He didn't think that was too funny. Although he said that was okay since if he was sent out there he could turn off the water to the house.

Mom and I went to step class in the morning and then headed to see the house and pick up Mia. We took her with us for the day. I can't even tell you the smile it put on my face when I walked in the door and Mia came running to give me a hug. Of course it helps that I don't go to see her without a surprise. She was precious. We went to mom's to shower and play a little and then met Aunt Jo and the boys for a late lunch (they were in town for a Bat Mitzvah). It was tons of fun. Mia was so adorable. I told Megan - she was soooo good, and soooo bad. And let me tell you she covered both ends of the spectrum and everything in between. All in all, though, I mostly just laughed and had a great time with her.  Mia is really in to closing doors.  So she was hanging out in her new room, and I opened the door to see her.  She pointed her finger and told me to "get out".  So I did.  And then I thought I heard her calling me so I went back opened the door, and she told me again "get out" and literally shut the door in my face.  So mom went to the door and knocked, and she heard this little voice say "who is it".  So after she giggled, mom said "it's Bubbe", and she heard, "shoot... just a minute... come in".  It was so hilarious - I was laughing so hard I think I was about to cry.  So then we were at Denny's, and Trey wanted a bite of Mia's cheeseburger so he asked her - "Mia, can I have a bite?".  She looked him straight in the eye and said no.  Then when he asked again, she said "not yet.".  We must have asked her 10 more times and every time, she said, "not yet".  So finally we distracted her so he could steal a bite.  She was way in to Uncle Trey on this trip.  When we left Saturday night she gave him big hugs and kisses and when I asked for a kiss she said no!  I'm telling you that kid is a monster and I just love it.

So Sunday morning mom and I woke up and went to step class.  We hung out a little around the house, went to a late lunch, and then it was time to head home.  By the time Trey and I made it home, it was after 9:00.  And I had stuff to do - I had to watch Brothers and Sisters, and HELLO - it was the season finale of Big Love!!!!

I'm here

Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know... Where the heck have I been.


The answer to that is both long and short. I've been busy. And I haven't really felt like I had the time to keep everything up to date on here. But I've thought about it. Does that count? You know - there comes a point where you have to prioritize, and you have to make choices. And I've chosen to clean my house (okay not really - my "housekeeper" does that for me -thanks April!). But I've had to help. And trying to reorganize some, de-clutter, and all around get things settled. It amazes me how much stuff I can accumulate, even after I do so much to get rid. Where does this stuff all come from??


Work has been crazy, but these days I suppose I am just happy to have work to do. It's been busy, and hectic. Lots of change, lots of uncertainty. But good. I can't ask for much more than that. I still work with great people, and we're just getting through tough times like everyone else.


I had an interesting experience a few weeks ago. I had jury duty for the first time ever. Wouldn't you know the first time I ever get a jury summons, I got picked. The defendent actually plead guilty, so we only had to do the punishment phase. It was a really difficult case, I have to say. I'm glad that I was a part of it - a learning experience for sure, and sparked a whole new perspective on our judicial system in me for sure. It was actually 2 separate cases that ran simoultaneously - one an intoxicated assault charge, and one intoxicated manslaughter. The gist... a young guy (about age 24) was involved in a car accident on New Years Eve, a year ago. In the accident, another man who was driving a 18 wheeler was struck, and in the course of the accident, died. It was much more detailed and graphic than that, but you get the idea. It was horribly sad - for all those involved. The guy who caused the accident was clearly a changed person from this, and it was just tragic for everyone. I thought a lot about it in the several days after, and since. I am just so grateful to have never had to experience something like that. It just goes to show you that people make mistakes, and that doesn't make them bad people. But they also have to live with the consequences.


Trey has been extremely busy - which is a great thing. He's been working weekends, and some nights during the week like crazy. He absolutely loves it, but I can also tell that it's taking it's toll on him. It's just hard on when there is no break. But I am so proud of how hard he is working to build up his "hobby" and turn it into a full business opportunity.


Madelyn just finished her Spring break, and spent most of it moving into her new house (her mom and stepdad just bought a new house), and unpacking. She is so excited about her new home, the big backyard with a fence for her dogs to run and play, lots of friends in her neighborhood (some she already had and some new ones she has already made - apparently her neighbors have a trampoline, so you can guess it took her no time to make friends with them!). She got all of her room unpacked, and she's settled. I know her mom wishes she was all settled too - she'll get there. Everyone is super excited about Trey's newest project. He and grandad are building Madelyn bunkbeds! Shh - it's a surprise, so don't say anything!!!! Madelyn's mom and stepdad were going to buy her bunkbeds - with stairs, a desk, and all - that Madelyn has been wanting for a long time. Well, Trey took one look at the picture, and said - I can do that. So now he and grandad have assumed this new project, and they are so excited.


April is in her last year of school - I can't believe it. This time next year, she'll be back in the "real" world. With only about 10 months left to go - it's all creeping up too fast, and I don't like it. The time has really flown by, and I don't like the idea of her wanting to get a full time job, and her own place to live. I don't like it all, and when it's brought up, I refuse to discuss it. And on that note - I'm not discussing it anymore.


Are you ready for this one... Jackie and Dani are driving! It's so scary. Not that they're driving (though that is a little scary too), but that they are old enough to be driving. I sometimes still think of them as my little babies - and they so are not. They are really beautiful young women, and I am so proud of them. I know - I sound like a grandmother, but in honor of my Meemaw, I'll take care of them from that point of view. And speaking of Meemaw, I also can't believe that this month will be 2 years that she's no longer with us. I miss her every day. I never really knew how much I would miss her. It's not like we talked every day, or like I saw her on a weekly basis. But I do now think of her every day, and miss her, and hope that I'm doing what my goal has been since she died... live up to her expectations.


Well, I would update you on my mom, but really it's soooo much easier to just say - read her blog. She is much better than I am at maintaining - she updated just about every day! And I would update you on Mia, but that too is better served by reading mom's blog. I will say, though - that she is growing by leaps and bounds!! She is truly a bundle of energy, and love, and attitude. And when I say a LOT of attitude, I am not exaggerating. That kid has more sassy in her than I ever thought would be possible. And stubborn (wonder where she gets that from?!). And every bit of adorable, huggable, laughable joy that is humanly possible. I am super excited that I will get to see her this weekend. I better go out and get some surprises - Aunt Rarah doesn't come without surprises (and now she tells me so!).


Allan and Megan just closed on their new house, and moved in. I can't wait to see it this weekend. I'm very excited for them. And after I see the house I can get an idea of a housewarming gift.


Okay - so that's about all I have in me for now. Off to bed I go... I'm tired now!

The weekend is already over

Another weekend has come and gone. So sad...

We didn't do much of anything this weekend. Trey spent all day yesterday working. Although he really enjoys building and doing projects as he works on growing his side (and future) business, I know it also makes him sad and disappointed to not be spending the time with Madelyn and I. So today, we had a family day. After the gym this morning, he, Mads and I went for brunch and to go ride go carts (Madelyn's choice). I tried to convince her to pick out a new Wii game instead, but she didn't go for it. She was adorable I do have to say driving her own go cart. And she's a really good driver - except that she kept stopping to fix her jewelery... that's my girl!

Yesterday Mads, April and I went to the gym in the morning, and then did a few errands during the day. Other than that, we just hung around at home.

It was a nice, relaxed weekend. I'm just so bummed it's already over.

Mom seems to have had a nice time with Mia this weekend. If you haven't seen her blog lately - check it out. She's way better than me at keeping it updated, and you've just got to see the pics she posted of the Mia. She is such a little princess. Check out her high heels!

25 Random Things About ME

1. I’m very lucky… I’m married to a wonderful husband, who loves, adores and spoils me. He is the best snuggler, comforter, and companion. He’s seen me at my worst and best, and loved me fully through it all. I don’t believe that any person is perfect, but he is perfect for me.

2. My family is the most important thing in my life. All of my family. We are very close and nothing comes between us. We celebrate holidays and everydays together, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

3. I learned at a pretty early age the importance of respect. You have to give it to get it. And those who don’t give it aren’t worth it – no matter who they are. One day, I think my father will wake up and realize this. I think then he’ll also learn the true meaning of regret. And if he never does then I guess it’s his loss.

4. My mom is my best friend, and has been for as long as I can remember. She has taught me the true meaning of unconditional love, and I have the utmost respect for her. My biggest fear is that I won’t live up to her expectations, and that I won’t be half the mother she is to me.

5. I am so proud to be Madelyn’s step-mom. She makes me smile. Being her step-mom is one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, and at the same time one of my greatest challenges. Sometime I cry for fear that I don’t live up, but I’ll always try my best to be the best for her – she deserves it.

6. I have a new found fascination with eating healthy (Yeah Weight Watchers) and working out. I LOVE my aerobics classes, and I HATE anything to interfere with their schedule. I love cooking new healthy recipes, and I’m fab at counting points. It’s been a great reality check after a tough year. Now I didn’t say I gave up all the good, but not good stuff. I still enjoy a great meal out and have to have my sweets. But I’ve learned a lot about moderation and balance. Sometimes I lose the motivation to keep it up, but it always comes back.

7. I’ve never been a person to have a lot of friends. And I’ve always been okay with that. Because instead I have a few amazing friends. You know who you are – and I’m so thankful for you everyday.

8. My brother and I aren’t as close as I’d like us to be, but I absolutely adore and love him – even when he drives me crazy. And since he’s given me a wonderful sister-in-law, and the most beautiful, bright (and stubborn – not sure where she gets that from) niece, Mia, he has an even more special place in my heart. Not that he didn’t already.

9. So many people complain about their in-laws. I’m very fortunate, because I have nothing to complain about. They’ve become an extension of my own family. My mother and father in law are rocks, and I so admire them. My sister-in-law, April is one of my very best friends – I don’t know what I would do without her. She keeps me sane and happy. We laugh together, talk constantly, and can finish each other’s sentences and thoughts. She’s an inspiration to me, and she keeps me motivated (see # 6).

10. I have been diagnosed with Lupus. It’s been a challenging year and half learning to deal with this. I’ve learned a great deal about myself, what my body can handle, and what it can’t anymore. Learning to live with Lupus has been a roller coaster that I hate to say, I don’t think is over yet. But again, I say I am lucky. I have been surrounded by fabulous support – from family and friends to phenomenal doctors. It’s a great feeling.

11. I miss my Meemaw (grandmother). It’s been almost 2 years since she died, and I think of her every day. Some of my fondest memories are of times we spent together. And there a ton of memories, because she was there for it all. She didn’t miss a thing. The heart remembers…

12. I graduated from the University of Texas in Austin, with a BS in Communication Studies. Hook Em’ Horns! I think it’s ironic how when you’re in school all you can think of is being out. And when you’re out, you yearn to go back.

13. I truly enjoy my job. I work with great people, I have a sense of accomplishment with what I do, and I like being there (almost) every day.

14. I am not a morning person. I don’t like to be talked to, touched, or involved in any way with anyone for at least an hour after I wake up.

15. I’m Jewish. I like that I come from such a rich (not money) and spiritual culture. I wish I was more involved with my religion. I don’t like that there are more questions about Judaism that I can’t answer than I can. But when all else fails, at least I know where to go to find out. My husband converted to Judaism about 4 years ago. It was an amazing experience for me to be a part of.

16. I love Dogs, I do NOT like Cats. I can’t really explain it – I’ve just always felt this way. Dogs win me over. Especially cute, fluffy, cuddly ones. Cats do nothing for me.

17. I don’t drink alcohol or do drugs. Now I didn’t say I never have. I’m a realist, and I think that experimenting is a natural part of life. My only expectation is that it’s done in a responsible and safe way. When Jackie and Dani or Madelyn are ready to try things, I hope they’ll come to me so that I can help them understand how to experience life smartly.


18. I believe that it takes all kind of people to make this world go round. While I wish everyone were noble, and kind, I know that is not the reality. I recognize that it takes the good and bad to make us who we are. And even though we may wish away the bad or uncharismatic pieces of us, they are a part of who we are, and who we become. I believe that life is complex and difficult, but beautiful and sacred.

19. I tend to live in the gray areas in life, which can make things a challenge with my black and white husband. But we find a way to make it work, and it keeps things interesting.

20. I’m up for a challenge, but can also appreciate things to be easy sometimes too. This very concept is my biggest fear about being a parent. It’s so difficult to find that very fine balance between giving your child(ren) all that you want them to have and you think they deserve, but also teaching them how to work hard for it, and not just giving it all to them. My mom perfected this balance, and I don’t know how she did it. I find it to be one of the most difficult things I’ve ever encountered in my life.

21. I think one of the most unfortunate things in life is that Madelyn will never know what it is like to – by herself – ride her bike to pool during the summer, walk a few blocks to her friends house to play, or lay in the grass in the front yard seeing what images the clouds make. It’s a very scary world, and it really bothers me that these simple things done by herself will never be something I feel it is safe for her to experience.

22. My absolute favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. I love the food, and the way my family celebrates it – casual with everyone cooking, eating, laughing, and just being together.

23. Some of the things that make my world go round … Starbucks, manicures and pedicures, having a new car, the smell of vanilla scented candles and air fresheners, reading all kinds of books from great girlie books to fiction to sudoku to a cookbook, going to the movies, lazy days at home (I’m a true homebody), going on vacation (who doesn’t love that), Starbucks (I know I already said it, but it deserves a second mention), seeing my niece grow and change by leaps and bounds, feeling appreciated, being organized, having a clean house, my Flintstones gummy daily vitamins (my doc says 2 of those are just as good any adult vitamins – and they taste just like gummy bears – it’s so hard to just eat the recommended dose), seeing Jackie and Dani grow into beautiful, charming young ladies… oh I could go on for hours.

24. I met my husband by being on a bowling league. If you know me you know how funny this is. I can’t bowl well (Trey would say at all), and it’s so uncharacteristic of me. It’s the perfect example of why I believe things happen for a reason.

25. My goal in life is to make those around me, who love me, proud. To carry on my Meemaw’s legacy of family and love and laughter. Lots of laughter. And to be happy – because if you’re not happy, what else is there?



So, that's me...

How nice it was to walk in this morning to see these beautiful roses. And they opened up so nicely over the weekend. Put another huge smile on my face!